In January, I watched every Architectural Digest Open Door home tour and ranked all 133 bathrooms from best to worst.
Castle Rock Entertainment / Columbia Pictures Television / Via media.giphy.com
Fifteen of those bathrooms stood out as particularly bizarre, and we need to talk about them. So, in no particular order, here are the 15 celebrity bathrooms with the weirdest design and most unsettling vibes:
1.Hilary Duff’s primary bath
This is a very strange bathroom. It’s not ugly, but it’s so big that it almost feels like a different room entirely that just happens to have a tub, shower, and toilet in it. Like, who keeps a guitar in their bathroom?! Wouldn’t the humidity warp the wood??
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
2.Sienna Miller’s guest house bathroom
There’s such a thing as too cozy, and this is it. Sienna’s guest house bathroom is narrow, doorless, and windowed. I don’t even have claustrophobia, but this bathroom is pushing my limits. Given the option to use this bathroom, I’d have to pass. This looks like a place spiders live, and I just don’t possess the mental constitution to take that chance.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
3.Vanessa Hudgens’s primary bath
Let’s keep the bad vibes rolling with Vanessa’s primary bathroom! This room has a very medieval vibe, aka a period of history known for the bubonic plague and essentially nonexistent plumbing. I can’t imagine how someone would’ve survived the past three years using a bathroom inspired by pandemic-core, but rich people don’t think like you and me.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
4.Tyrese Gibson’s primary bath
Tyrese took the marble bathroom trend that became popular in recent years and said, “hold my beer.” Apparently, this bathroom has “marble from floor to ceiling” AND “marble curtains.” (!!!!!!????) No word on whether the toilet is also marble.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
5.Tommy Hilfiger’s primary bath
Tommy is a man known for his taste, so I don’t know what went wrong here. Anyone using this thoroughly heinous bathroom would definitely catch their reflection on all this chrome — and that is NOT something you want to see from 12 different angles.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
6.Troye Sivan’s wine cellar-turned-bathroom
Troye’s former wine cellar-turned-bathroom takes the dark bathroom trend and makes it a thousand times more unsettling. I feel like a sinister cartoon bear would lure people into this bathroom under the guise of showing them a rare cask of Charmintillado and entomb them alive while they’re going number two.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
7.Zachary Quinto’s powder room
Speaking of murderers…not only is this powder room way too dark, but Zachary also said he put a bunch of photos in there of people staring straight in the camera “so when you go in to pee, everybody’s looking at you.” And that’s some serial killer behavior right there.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
8.Kirsten Dunst’s primary bath
Kirsten’s bathroom is less unsettling than Vanessa’s, but the bird and copper tub definitely make me think a witch used to live here. Unfortunately, extremely dark — verging on impractical — bathrooms seem to be a trend that celebrities have latched on to.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
9.Alessandra Ambrosio’s pool house bathroom
Alessandra’s bathroom is fairly tame in comparison to some of her counterparts, but it’s bizarre nonetheless. For reasons completely unknown, Alessandra thought this bathroom would be the perfect place to display all the hats from her hat line. Weird. Hilarious. Frankly, I’m obsessed with this design choice.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
10.Zedd’s brother’s bathroom
This is an otherwise nice bathroom, but apparently, the blinds are set on a timer and go up at 7 a.m. and expose you to anyone who’s outside the window at the time. And that’s truly unhinged.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
11.Tommy Hilfiger’s guest bath
Congratulations to Tommy for being the only person with two bathrooms on this list. I’m glad he toned down the chrome, but this design is so dizzying that I’d be genuinely worried that people would stumble around until eventually cracking their skull open on the counter.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
12.Cara Delevingne’s primary bath
I LOVE the color scheme and layout of this bathroom, but can you even begin to imagine how cold that toilet must feel when you get up to pee in the middle of the night?! Or how hard it is to clean? Or how ugly it will be after a few years of rust?! This toilet will one day look like the Statue of Liberty — once a beautiful shade of copper that eventually fades into a teal monstrosity welcoming our tired, our poor, our huddled post-burrito dumps.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
13.G-Eazy’s studio bath
Who decided that dark, moody bathrooms are in, and where can I dispose of their body? Because I hate this trend, I really do. We left cave living in our past many thousands of years ago. No human in 2023 should have to poop in the dark.
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
14.Rita Ora’s literal en suite bathroom
Rita is VERY excited about her full en suite bathroom that is mere inches away from her bed, separated only by a curtain. “This is the bathroom…in the same room!” Confoundingly, she exclaims this as if it’s terrific news and not something that would fully prevent every other living being from purchasing this home. But it’s like Countess Luann once said, “Money can’t buy you class…or well-designed bathrooms.”
Architectural Digest / Via youtu.be
For more extremely specific opinions about interior design, check out these stories:
Someone Hand Me A Shovel So I Can Bury These 12 Interior Design Trends In A Cold, Dark Grave
6 Celebs With Impeccable Home Decor And 6 Whose Choices Make Me Physically Anxious
